


Of Frat Boys and Test Tubes

by SpiffyWordPlay



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: College AU, I'll write more if there is a desire for me to write more, Jealous Earl, Jealousy, M/M, Uni AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-10 02:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3273539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiffyWordPlay/pseuds/SpiffyWordPlay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos didn't usually do relationships, but when he meets a certain freshmen named Cecil, it changes his mindset completely. As smoothly as he'd like things to go with the communications major, there is one tiny thing that stands in his way: The bulky, jealous, and almost-always-drunk Earl Harlan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Carlos usually didn't do parties. They were loud, hectic, and lacked an adequate amount of science. He would usually stand in the corner with a plastic cup full of beer and trick the occasional listener with some lame basic physics trick he'd thought everyone had learned in high school. Gravity worked the same on every object, therefore a dollar bill would fall just as quickly as an empty bottle of beer and so on. For some reason that always surprised everyone.  
Whenever he was dragged to these sorts of things, it was usually by Dana. The girl was great. Really. But she was a fluttering socialite and Carlos couldn't dare keep up with her. Every time he saw the girl, she was with a new group of people, chatting and laughing over something Carlos only assumed to be frivolous.  
The young man stayed alone in the corner for a while, filling his cup every now and then, avoiding the awkward stares from frat boys who probably thought he didn't belong there. And he really didn't.  
Eventually Dana returned, though she came with company. A pale, platinum haired, lanky little man was being dragged behind her, almost spilling his drink due to the girl's haste.  
"Carlos! Hey!" she said with a smile, grabbing the science major's shoulder. "I wanted to introduce you to a friend- Cecil. Cecil, this is Carlos."  
The two of them exchanged awkward smiles and Cecil gave Carlos a small wave.  
"Cecil has journalism with me. He wants to get into communications. This is his first year here," she explained, grinning wholeheartedly at Cecil.  
Why was she doing this? Carlos couldn't make conversation. And besides, all he wanted to do was go home.  
And then everything made sense.  
"He's gay."  
Dana was trying to set him up. If the guy wasn't there in front of them, he would have let out a loud groan and glared at Dana for a good ten minutes. But he just nodded at the blond, who shifted nervously. Cecil was cute, he couldn't deny that. He had little freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks, and thick framed glasses. There were a few earrings in his ears, and a hoop in his eyebrow and lip. He couldn't have been older than 19.  
"Was that necessary to add?" the blond asked, nudging Dana gently in the arm.  
His voice didn't match his face. The little skinny man had a deep, smooth voice. Yeah, he could definitely make it in communications.  
Carlos smiled before Dana could answer, holding his hand out for Cecil to shake. Did people still do that? He was pretty sure. Maybe not at a party, but... What else was he supposed to do? Just start kissing him?  
"This is my third year. I'm studying neuroscience and physics," he said, retracting his hand after the pale man gently shook it.  
Dana stared at him pointedly for a moment, until he sighed and cleared his throat, "And I'm bi."  
The young woman seemed satisfied enough with that and gave them both excited grins.  
"With that said, I'm going to go check on Earl. Last I saw him, he was threatening to break one of his frat brother's arms. So, I should probably make sure he doesn't do that.”  
"Earl is here?" came that calm voice again, "Tell him I said hi."  
"Will do," nodded Dana, before patting Carlos on the butt. "Alright, play nice, boys."  
And now what was he supposed to do?  
"So, Earl Harlan, right?" he cleared his throat, trying to make conversation. "How do you know him?"  
The man smiled, taking a sip of whatever was in his cup. It looked like soda. The guy was probably too young to drink, though that usually never stopped people. Hell, it didn't stop Carlos.  
"We're from the same town. We had boy scouts together, and we were pretty close for a while," the man explained, gesturing with his hands as he spoke.  
"Ah. Yeah, that's cool. I had a few freshmen classes with him. We don't really get along, but he seems like a decent enough guy."  
No. Earl Harlan was a total asshole. Carlos hated him probably more than he hated reading scientifically impossible science fiction novels. But to keep things polite, he'd reserve himself from expressing that sentiment.  
"Yeah, he can be a little standoffish sometimes, but deep down he's a real sweetheart...”  
After that there was a humiliating four whole seconds of silence, and the blond rubbed the nape of his neck awkwardly.  
"Dana dragged me over here because she said we were mutually single and lonely, and she said you were a really sweet guy. I've not really been to one of these parties, so it's a little intimidating. Also, you are a little intimidating. I think you're really handsome, but my head kind of hurts and it's loud in here," he rambled, cheeks glowing pink. The poor guy was struggling, Carlos could tell.  
But if this was one of those, 'it's too loud here so come to my dorm and have bad sex with me' tricks, Carlos wasn't falling for it. He'd already done that once this semester.  
"So, to keep this relatively short, I'm going to go to bed, and maybe give you my number if you want it," he said softly, looking up at Carlos with weird-ass blue eyes.  
Weird-ass blue eyes. They were pretty, but almost purple..? It looked like the man was wearing contacts, but maybe it was just a genetic rarity. Carlos liked those.  
He was glad the younger student didn't try anything else, and he was assured, just by that, that the right thing to do was indeed give the blond his number.  
"Sure," Carlos said, giving him an understanding smile. After a moment of digging through his jacket pocket, Carlos dug his phone out and handed it to the guy in front of him. Cecil took it and started to awkwardly type on the keyboard he was not used to.  
After what seemed like hours, he handed the phone back and grinned. "Okay, well... It was nice meeting you, Carlos. Sorry to be leaving so early, bu-"  
"I completely understand," he interrupted. "I hate these things too. I'll text you tomorrow, okay, cutie?"  
Oh god, why the hell did he say that? Carlos didn't say stuff like that. Ever. His flirting usually was limited to badly timed puns and sarcastic laughter. Not pet names.  
The blond seemed pleased enough, blushing again, and grinning. "Yeah. Neat! I'll talk to you tomorrow!"  
And saying that, he gave Carlos one last little wave and made his merry way out of the party. Lucky bastard.  
Carlos had eventually escaped the crowd and found Dana by a set of stairs, talking to a rather wobbly looking Earl Harlan. Carlos sighed, the asshole was drunk.  
"Dana," the scientist approached, putting a hand on the girl's shoulder to receive her attention. The music was loud, and there was a couple heatedly making out a few steps above them. That could be potentially dangerous, Carlos noted.  
Dana turned from Earl, looking quite frustrated. "Carlos, hey. That was quick. I'm assuming things didn't go well with Cecil?"  
Carlos opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the redhead leaning haphazardly against the railing. "What are you doing with Cecil? Huh?" he slurred, pointing a finger at the scientist's chest.  
Carlos had to admit, the man was quite scary when drunk. Or just... Really, any time. He stood at about 6'2, and had the vilest glare. God, he was such an ass.  
"Just talking," Carlos responded, before turning to talk to Dana again, more quietly. "He said he was tired and going to go to his dorm to sleep. I got his number, but... Why? I mean, he's hot, but you know I don't date. Usually."  
Dana sighed and gave him a small, weary smile. "Trust me. You'll like him. I pointed you out, and he said you were one of the most gorgeous guys he'd ever seen. Now, that's a new concept, huh?" she snorted.  
Earl stepped ahead of Dana, poking Carlos in the chest. "What are you doing with Cecil?"  
"Absolutely nothing," Carlos groaned, stepping down the stairs.  
"He's asking Cecil if he wants to get coffee tomorrow at three," Dana piped in, grinning at the scientist.  
Earl did not look like he liked that very much. Though it never looked like he liked anything. He just had a constant look of displeasure.  
"I am?" Carlos asked, "I guess I am... Well, I need to get some beauty sleep before the date then. See yah, Dana. Hope your hangover is terrible, Earl!" he laughed as he parted ways, heading out of the loud frat house, and towards his small, quiet dorm.


	2. An Interuption Or Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earl is a bigger asshole than Carlos originally thought, and he's really tempted to throw a scone at his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, since people were wanting this... Here you go! I write during my downtime at work, so that's why it took forever. So, yeah, sorry.   
> Kudos and comments and shit.   
> xx

It took about thirty minutes of self assurance and a quick pep talk in the mirror, and Carlos was ready to text Cecil about that coffee date. Three o' clock. He could do this.

With a exaggerated sigh, the science major grabbed his phone from the desk in his room and found Cecil's number. Great, it had a little heart by it. At least it would distinguish him from the other Cecils in his phone, which were none.   
After revising the message about three or eleven times, he finally sent,   
"Hi. It's Carlos. Coffee at 3? -CM"   
It was perfect. Simple and to the point. There were no promises lying beneath the surface, and it could be used for any sort of situation. Studying? Yes. Talking philosophy for hours and hours? Yes. A date with a very cute guy from some stupid frat party? Yes. Definitely.

Luckily he didn't have any classes, considering it was a Saturday, and he could lay in bed and groan over how long it took the blond to text back for however long Cecil provided. Or, didn't provide, really. 

After seven devastating minutes of profuse sweating and ridiculous theories, his phone vibrated and he opened the text.

"Omg! Hi Carlos! Actually, Earl asked me if I wanted to get coffee at 3! You can join us if you want! <3 -CP" 

What.  
The.  
Fuck.

Carlos felt like throwing his phone, punching a soft pillow, or smashing a test tube or something. Earl knew he was going to ask Cecil out. At three. For coffee. Why the hell would he pull something like that? Were they not just childhood friends?

Oh.  
Ohhhhh...

That explained everything. Earl was pissed the previous night for him talking to Cecil, and was now ruining their date. 

Earl was jealous.  
Earl liked Cecil.

Even though Carlos had only exchanged about three sentences with the pretty blond stranger and would have usually just shrugged this kind of thing off, he wasn't just going to take this kind of shit from Earl. If he wanted Cecil, he should have acted sooner. The redhead could be his friend all he wanted, but Carlos was going to be the one who truly got the goods. Or whatever.

With a frustrated tug of his hair, he sent,   
"I'd love to! Maybe we can spend some time together afterwards. -CM"

And almost immediately he got back a,   
"Neat!! -CP"

Hell yeah. Carlos totally had this. He just had to sit through a cup of coffee with some idiot he hated, and a cute guy he hardly knew. It should be easy enough. 

Or really, really not easy.

Nevertheless, he was a scientist, and scientists could do whatever they put their minds to. 

If Carlos had a roommate, they probably would have found it strange that the man laid in bed and sulked for a good hour and a half. Luckily, he didn't have a roommate due to even stranger reasons, so he had nothing to worry about. The last one he had was a young woman named Loretta who complained about how Carlos complained so much. 

Eventually 1:00 rolled around, and the 20-something year old let out an unnecessary minute and a half long groan. He needed to shower and get dressed and take ten ibuprofens. 

When he deemed himself ready to go on his not so romantic date (that wasn't even a date, really) only an hour had passed.

He wore an green plaid shirt, and a pair of fitted, dark jeans. In the end, he decided not to shave, and figured that the dark stubble shaping his jaw was probably attractive in some way or another.   
He decided he'd just get to the campus cafe early. Maybe Cecil would be there early too, and he could have a moment to woo him alone. 

The cafe was fairly empty, and he didn't see Cecil nor Earl anywhere. Then again, he was about ten minutes early by this point. 

He sat and played on his phone for a good while, drumming his fingers on the table as he waited.

Suddenly there was someone beside him, and he looked up to see the same blond from the night before, smiling down at him. 

"Hi," the scientist greeted, clearing his throat. 

Cecil looked good. A tight black t-shirt with even tighter jeans. Damn it, the guy was pretty.

"Hey, Carlos. How long have you been waiting here?"

Ten minutes seemed like a little too awkwardly long so he smiled and settled with, "About five minutes. Where's Earl?"

Cecil shrugged, running a hand through his wavy hair and sitting down. An eye was shaved on one side of his head, Carlos noticed for the first time. Cecil was pretty weird. 

"Earl is always late.. Always.. But it's not a big deal.." he paused for a moment, and glanced towards the door. No Earl. "Anyway, how'd the rest of the party go?" the freshmen asked, smiling.

"Oh, it went okay. I left right after you did, so, it was.. I don't know. I didn't stay long," he fumbled, letting out a small sigh. Why was he suddenly nervous? Probably because he didn't have the comforting cushion of booze in his system. He felt like such a dork. Fuck. He WAS such a dork.

"Can I buy you a coffee?" Carlos suddenly asked, giving Cecil his most charming smile.

Cecil certainly looked charmed, if the scientist knew what a charmed man even looked like. He nodded, smiling, "That would be great.. I like anything sweet."

"A mocha then?" the scientist raised a brow. 

"Sounds perfect." Another cute smile. 

Carlos stood up and started towards the small line of impatient caffeine addicts, standing among them and glancing quickly at Cecil over his shoulder. The man was on his phone now, scrolling and looking moderately frustrated.   
He sighed and turned towards the barista, tapping his toe as the others specified their expensive bean water drink before him. 

"Cecil!" came a voice behind him. Loud. Arrogant. Earl Harlan. Carlos groaned, glancing back at the man who seemed to have everyone's attention. He marched towards a red faced Cecil, sitting beside him and slinging an arm around his shoulders.

Fuck.. No. Earl needed to get his arm off of him. Cecil was..   
Cecil wasn't his.   
But nor was he Earl's, and Carlos wanted to punch the asshole in the face. 

"Sir. Sir. Sir.... Siiiiiiirrrrr..." came the groaning of a teenager, before letting out possibly the most annoyed sigh in known human history. 

"Yes," Carlos said, snapping his head back to the teenager, frowning. "Two mochas.. One with a shot of whiskey."

The teenager gave Carlos a weird look, "Do you mean espresso?"

"I mean a drink with strong alcohol content," he said intensely, lowering his brows at the confused teen.

"Yeah, we don't have alcohol."

Damn. Of course they didn't. Why was he such an idiot? He could totally be social and nice without drinking. Totally. 

"Yeah, espresso. That. Give me that. For Carlos. My name is Carlos."

The barista rolled his eyes and took the man's money, printing a receipt and sliding it towards him. What a creep.

Carlos stood there, tapping his foot furiously, as a few people stared at him. At this point, he really didn't care. He was unreasonably jealous for some reason, and Earl was now whispering something to a blushing Cecil, and he was going to throw a scone at him. 

With a deep breath, he started to calm down, running a hand through his curly hair and biting his lip. 

Cecil caught his eyes and gave Carlos the most terrible fake smile he had ever seen, giving him a little wave. Carlos forced a smile back and waved, gaining the attention of Earl, who just glared.

Suddenly his name was called, and he collected the coffees, reluctantly heading back to the table.

"Carlos," came a rough voice. "Didn't think you'd be here.." Earl looked tired and hungover, which was exactly what he was. He was an idiot. 

"Yes. Well, I had planned on asking Cecil to go out today, so.. You know, I wasn't going to back out," he mumbled, sliding Cecil one of the coffees. 

The blond looked pleased, and pushed away Earl's arm, taking the coffee and sipping from it. "Thanks, Carlos. You're really swe-"

Earl perked up, "You bought him a coffee?" he asked Carlos, before turning to glare at Cecil. "You let him buy you a coffee?" 

They both spoke up at the same time, a garbled string of words that no one could understand. 

Carlos cleared his throat and looked at Cecil, nodding for him to talk.

"Carlos offered, and I wasn't going to say no to a free coffee," he said, nudging the scientist gently under the table with his foot. "Stop pouting and get yourself one," he told the redhead, frowning.

Earl shook his head. "I'll wait for you to finish, and I'll buy us both one."

Cecil arched an eyebrow. "I don't think I want ano-"

"You're getting one," he interrupted, giving the smaller man a firm look.

Oh god, Carlos could punch him. What a prick. What a massive prick. He couldn't just treat Cecil like that. How did the guy tolerate it?

Cecil didn't say a word, and neither did Earl or Carlos. It really wasn't his place to step up. Not now, at least. 

"Hey, Cecil," the scientist finally mumbled, "I have to go tutor some biology students.." It wasn't exactly a lie. He did, just in like, two hours. Dealing with Earl and his aggressive jealousy was a little too much for him right now, and he wasn't even sure if Cecil was worth it. If anything, he really only wanted to date the guy just to piss Earl off. 

"Oh?" the blond sounded sad, and it kind of broke Carlos' heart a little. "That's important, yeah.. I.. Right. Thanks for the coffee."

The science major nodded, giving him a gentle smile. He could hear Earl scoff. 

"No problem, Cecil.. And.. Hey.. If you're free later, I'd like to take you to dinner."

The scowl on Earl's face was picture worthy. If he could, he would have framed the expression on his wall and titled it, "Asshole being an asshole." 

Cecil lit up, nodding, "I would love to! Just.. Text me, okay? We'll figure it out." 

Carlos grabbed his coffee and stood up, nodding. He smiled at the two of them, gave Cecil an obvious wink, and headed towards the door.

Behind him he heard Earl hit the table.


	3. Soliciting Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It happens. They go on a date. And it goes well.

The date was scheduled for seven that night. They were going to see a movie, since Cecil had some meeting with an intern at the radio station or something at five and didn't know how long it would be.

So they were going to watch some stupid horror film that the blond wanted to see. Horror films were illogical and ridiculous. If anything, they toyed with the viewer's emotions rather than the psychological aspect of fear. 

In other words, cheap jump scares made Carlos cry like a baby. 

The more he thought about the movie date, the better it got. It was going to piss Earl off, and he didn't actually have to do much talking to Cecil. The guy did seem really sweet. And he was cute, of course, but Carlos really was shit at the whole relationship thing. 

Actually, he still wasn't sure if it was even a date. From the way things went at the cafe, he wasn't sure Cecil liked him. It wasn't as if Carlos could blame the poor guy. He was awkward and weird, but considerably better looking than Earl, at least. 

Seven came around quickly, and Carlos stood outside the theatre, leaning against the brick outside the building, arms folded across his chest. In his head he imagined himself looking like some cool dude about to drop his new rap album. Buy he was sure that in reality he looked like some nerdy hooker. He couldn't have been closer to the truth.

Cecil didn't look impressed when he showed up, but he smiled at the scientist. 

Carlos wasn't sure what to do. Shake his hand? Grab his coat? Present him with a gift? Fuck.. He had some mints in his pocket, that would probably do.. He shoved a hand in his pocket, but his gift bearing was interrupted with the other man's greeting of a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, hello, that was forward," he mumbled, blinking down at Cecil.

Cecil shrugged, "Proper thanks for the coffee earlier. Let's get tickets.."

That made enough sense to Carlos and he nodded, following him to the ticket booth. 

"Do you want a mint?" he suddenly asked, realizing his hand was still shoved in his pocket. 

Cecil scrunched up his nose, slipping the woman in the booth money for the tickets. "Why? Does my breath smell bad or something?"

Carlos turned red, waving his hands a little, "No, your breath smells great, it's.. Never mind. Okay.. It's cold and I'm delusional, let's go inside."

Cecil grinned and shook his head, "You're so ridiculous." 

The movie started off pretty boring and not terrifying, and Carlos found himself glancing at Cecil a bit more than he probably should have. The guy was adorable, and he kept gasping and furrowing his pierced eyebrows. Yeah, he was hot.

It was about time he made some kind of move on the blond, but he wasn't quite sure what to do. He remembered one time in middle school he pulled the whole yawn trick on a girl, but she told him he was a cheesy romance cliche, and he proceeded to frown and declare that her mom was a cheesy romance cliche. Needless to say, he never went on another date with her. 

It was while the main character was eating their own eyes due to some crazy maniac when he thought of an idea. Casually, he took enough money to pay for both of their tickets out of his wallet, slipping it into the man's pocket beside him.

Cecil turned to give him a confused look, and Carlos prayed to some fake deity that the blond didn't think he was trying to solicit sex. 

"For the tickets," he mumbled, and Cecil opened his mouth a little, taking the money out and shoving it back at Carlos. 

"No, no, I paid. Don't worry. Seriously.. You bought me coffee earlier.." the blond protested, slipping the money into Carlos' hand. 

"You paid me back with a kiss on the cheek, remember?" Carlos asked with a small smirk, slipping the money back in Cecil's pocket. 

"Yeah, but.. That wasn't enough..." he whispered, chewing his bottom lip. Carlos couldn't help but glance down at it, quickly looking back up into Cecil's weird-ass eyes. He was stunning. And blushing. Fuck.. He noticed. 

"Pay me back with another kiss then," he said softly, his cheeks starting to burn as well. Not because he was embarrassed, but because that was damn smooth and his older brothers would have high-fived him until his arm fell off.

A smirk tugged at Cecil's lips, and Carlos felt like he'd melt. Before he could be absorbed into the seat, a pair of warm lips were against his own, and a small hand resting gently on his jaw. 

It was pure bliss.

Really, really, really nice. 

After a moment, the blond pulled away, running a hand through his hair and returning his focus back to the movie. He was grinning. 

Carlos was not only pleased with his payment, but was smiling like an idiot, hiding his mouth in his hand so Cecil could maybe be spared from seeing his nerdy breakdown.

Earl couldn't touch Cecil. It was a new rule. He'd email the president and beg him to make it a law, and even though he was almost one hundred percent certain that's not how it worked, he was also one hundred percent certain that Cecil was perfect for him.

Just one kiss and he was head over heels. One fucking kiss. It was ridiculous, but there was no way he was going to let the perfect terrestrial being slip out of his grip.

Not even Earl Harlan could rip him away. 

The rest of the date went extraordinarily well. They stayed outside the theatre talking for a good hour after the movie. Cecil was giggly and excited, and Carlos was equally so. They really clicked, and even talking about the on campus radio station interested Carlos, and he was able to say ten words without freezing up. He was fairly certain Cecil was the guy for him, and it sealed the deal when Carlos kissed him again before he got in his car and left. There was nothing he didn't like about Cecil, other than his obvious love for all things feline. 

Carlos was allergic to cats, and in the slight chance that they were ever to move in together or get married or whatever, they would have to make a negotiation. Though Carlos didn't exactly mind swallowing Clariton every morning for the blond. Was that love? Probably.. But he was thinking way too far ahead.. Marriage? It had only been like two days.. 

The scientist hummed as he walked to his dorm. It was some song John Travolta sang in some dumb movie his sister watched repeatedly when they were younger. He couldn't remember what the hell it was, but the song was catchy and he had a little crush on Travolta when he was little. It fit the moment, he thought.   
He went to bed that night imagining that the plush red blood cell beside him was Cecil G. Palmer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit this if you please.  
> My tumblr url is nervouslobotomy so contact me there if you have suggestions and shit.  
> Next chapter will be from Earl's POV.  
> Thanks

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comment if you'd like more!


End file.
